ramblings on what's nextSometimes, I wonderIf we're afraid of death becauseWe'll be gone, or becauseWe'll be forgottenLeaving behind no mark,Just another lonely personTrying to make lonelinesssome sort of abstract beautyinfusing our words with actionslike we've made a vow to ourselvesWe've promised to never keep.Still terrified of losing ourselvesIn the unknown we're clingingto broken precipices of what we think we knowBUTwith every silver lining there's a cloudand we're terrified to look up and see grey.So alone in our minds, we tryto find someone to fill the void in our liveslike we know humans were never meant to be alone.Bodies for barriers, a skin for a shieldwe break itattempting to connect the inside with the outsidelike there's some sort of difference.Staring into a mirrormemorizing the outlines of our own facesyet wishing to match someone who is morethan what we are as thoughthey're somehow better, as thoughthey will be more unforgettable than our own meager selves.And p
Balancing ActI tireOf these false smilesOutright lies, dissolute facesPutting all through their pacesLike they have to be an angel or a devilFulfill forced-upon expectationsNo hesitationJust actInstead of thinkDo something for yourselfBy yourselfGrow upSuck it upNo matter whatYou'll die aloneMorbid thoughtTruth to the matter thoughRambling nowWho cares?My poem,My thoughts,My ideas,Mine, mine, mineYet I shareSo yours too?Agree or disagreeAgree to disagreeI seeNothingEverythingSomething has justFlickered byOh waitIt's a genuine smileNow how did that pop upThat a grin can be meantHappiness feltInstead of some kind ofTeenage, hormone-induced angstThat's uncontrollableAnd out of controlI tireOf these tireless emotionsThat are impossible to deal withBecause they just take overLeaving rationality as a ticked-offBackseat driver.I tireOf these false smiles, false desiresGrinning eyes whose soul is screaming LIARI tireOf so much of this world.And yetSo muc
To Let You KnowTo everyone who can't stop themselves from caringWho can't help but be hurt every timeThey're made to feel like they'reinvisibleI just wanted to let you knowIf you peek out your windowAnd look out at the skyPerhaps you'll realizeSomewhere out thereIs someone else doing just the same thingWaiting for someone to notice themFor doing everything they can doJust as you are.Perhaps you'll find outThat under the immense skyThere's someone out thereWaiting to notice you.But if you look out your windowAnd see only skyI just wanted to let you knowIt's okay to cryAnd feel lost and alone,Set adrift and apart.You don't need to atoneFor the scars on your heartWill heal becauseThey must.I just wanted to let you knowYou will never be aloneIf only you'd open up your window.
AlibiStomach clenching into knotsCan't breatheSobbing gasps torn by the windAway from here.Tear-streaked cheeksTwo distinct trailsSalty water from the chinSplatters down intoFuzzy, indistinguishable fabric.Noises, keening, wailingSobs fly along the windTo closed ears andClosed hearts.People don't want to seeTears.They don't want to admitFears.Alibis hideWhat the truth would show.
fiction not factArt is fiction not factmore than what it isyet less than what it seemsperception isn't reality,yet that's all art is:the perception of reality.Art isthe idea of what isthe idea of what isn'tthe idea of what could beArt is nothing but creationeven when it is destructionIt is emotion, numbness,the truth one sees orthe lies one doesn't.The face, the body, the mindfingers flying across blank paperlosing ourselves while creating a mirrorwhat was once empty now fullof the being that iswho we are.The past, the future, the presentyesterday's tomorrow is where we resideOur eternal home until we reach eternityIn this promise unbreakable yet unknownthe only absolute certaintyis our own morality.Art is the mark we leave upon the worldThe end result of us.
silenceyou don't knowhow much i'm not letting myself say.you don't knowhow fragile i view your strengthhow strong i see your weakness.i don't speak, settle in the silences to seebut never say what i have seen.the silent truth that i wish to saybut it remains unspoken.you don't knowi'm trying to see the world through your eyes butall i can do is see it through filtered lenses.all a matter of perspective yetof reality there is only one butthere are so many.apologies profuse and yet elusivei hold words in my heart thati can't let you hear becausei'm so afraid you'll break andno apologies can fix you.fragile hearts broken by single words andi don't know if i'll say them.misunderstanding wrought by fictional appearances andfictional wishes, promises thatcan't be kept because understanding is nonexistent.All I have are words and sometimesThey are not enough.
fulfilledIt's the tension gripping your insideswhere having to go withoutisn't even a possibility anymore.It's the point when there can beno more waiting, no more procrastinatingjust the tenseness finally breakinglike you've finally found what you needed to doand you went out and did it.The feeling of accomplishmentthe sense of having completed a questwhat you have set out to dowhat you have been waiting to dofor what appears to be agesin which you were stuck waitingfor tomorrow to become todaybut tomorrow already became yesterdaybecause there was always somethingto hold you back.Free from your fettersfree from the disillusionment and reality of limitationsfree from the clenching in your abdomenand the cramping of muscles held too tightthe price was hefty butthe reward will always be worth it.
simple complexityStating the obviousTo avoid the obliviousThe inner struggles of strifeOuter battles of lifeMore than meets the eyeHidden souls in countless placesNone freeNor exempt from paces.Entering the mazesOutward crazesSociety's whimsChanging dinsLike shifting wavesAllow the hazeOthers to saveMore to laze.Crying streaksLeave eyes bleakMake-up concealsAs much as it revealsMask firmly settledCracks realign to newWrinkles in fine mettleFind a different view.Picture framesOnly signs of a gameLost and won butNo winnings found, only cutBonds are broken, bentBacks are sighingPraying for heaven-sentBut simply lying.More or less or better or worseBlessing or curseEvery scar and bleeding heartWalking along, part by partIndividuals brought togetherHere to stay before foreverEnding lives and living livesHere on earth, we survive.
wanderingthere is just the barest hint of mysteryin the shadows playing on the ground beneath the leavesdark ones to pale ones shiftingas night fades to day darkens to night once moreand sleep claims the restless soulsearching for a home to return towhere once there was nothingbecomes a creation of something.balance becomes the only certain goalwhen everything else is achievedseason's passing season's greetingrising now, restless soul growingin ways more than one as leaves falland shadows become one as grey skieslinger over the creation still so fragilenot quite filled with the warmthof a heart still wandering butnow with something to come back to.
contradictionit's on and off and come again;the swish, the sway, the sashaysass and wit and brutal honestyit's leave, come back, and go away.it's red and green, purple and yellow, orange and bluehead or tails, up and downthe sky, the sea, the groundit's straight, a square, and go around.it's infinity to zerothe beginning to the endwith all the middle partssequestered inbetween.Christmas cheer to Halloween fearforgiveness to vengeancecreation to destructionpeace to war, chaos to orderit's everything and nothing.it's on and off and come againit's straight and square and circleit's infinity to zeroeverything to nothingis a contradiction-'s don't exist.
truth i seeSometimes, I wonder how many truths I've seen.Sometimes, I wonder why I hold them back.I wonder if I'm lying butI would fear I'm telling the truth.Calling myself unobservant butI can't break through the barriersPeople have erected around themselvesIn order not to break down.I can't just tell the bastard childLife is theirs to live if onlyThey could learn to love themselves.Trying to find that special otherIn order to fill a hole so strongly feltSo largely encompassing, it's hard to tellIt's there, I can'tSay the words on the tip of my tongue becauseIt's not my place to dictate.My own reality is wonderful, perhapsThat is why I want to say'Don't try to fill yourself with othersYou will never find satisfaction down your path.Struggle everyday, it will be futileBecause you can never know someone better thanYourself.'That is merely my truthIt is what I see and understand.I can call myself selfish, for I amIn the kindnesses I shareIn the laughter and smiles I hope
AssassinSoftly, gently, quickly nowfootsteps across a barren landleave behind imprints in innocencepurity defiled as snow becomes mudand man leaves behind his marksOn a world ignorant of the individualjust the corruption of the massesovercoming blissful securitiestied away in a locked chestbefore adulthood comes to break it openThe secrets not meant to be revealedlike skeletons in the closetonce smiling bleach whitewith age they are yellowed, becomingbrittle but never forgottenThe dead pay their respects to the livinghoping beyond hope that the lessons they've learnedwon't come too late for those with heartsstill controlling the minds trying to live.
Another Informal Case StudyWhite male. Approximately nineteen years oldwith two pierced ears and Maverick brand cigarettes.He rocked forward whenever he spoke,drawing shadows under his cheeksand other bones.A ship inked on his left shoulder,fingers spread like sails, he stilled abruptly.His pupils were dilated and he smiled at the table."Everything's a fraud,or at least an act of narcissism.You need a certain degree of sociopathyto maintain success, so anyone in this system,home owners and schoolteachers, who cooperateand flourish deserve to suffer."I nodded.
things that go bump in the nightabsence makes the heart a monster.
paris and troyWhen she met him, he had a ring around his finger that he never took off. When she realized it was etched into his skin, ink as permanent as his existence, she asked if he was married. He laughed.The ink said "Helen," woven into a ring by his knuckle, and he told that Helen was the love of his life. She wanted to be jealous, she wanted to feel resentful, but he pulled her into his arms and kissed her hair while he told her the story of Helen, Queen of Mycenaean Sparta, and a love so fierce that Paris fought a war to keep her."So many things in life are mediocre," he told her while her fingers traced the tattoo. "Helen reminds me that love should never be one of them."She didn't know the exact moment that she fell in love with Jonah, but if there was one, that was it.=====When the new boy on her couch asked her about her tattoo, he asked her if she had traveled to Paris or studied abroad in school. Maybe it was the way he had assumed her motivation, maybe it was because the ink was
complementary, complimentaryyou make me feel sobeautiful because we havethe exact same eyes,and i always saidmine were brown until i heardyou call yours hazel.
Never Trust An ActorIt's not you, it's meI say it does hurtbut the thing isI know I'm lyingTo youPlease stop telling yourselfthat it's all your faultstop and save your voice girlyour not the one who has to speak|i see the stars but not the dreamsi see the sun but not the lightsso stop and voice your voice girlyour the one that's better offand i'm the one in the dirtIt's not you, it's meI say it does hurtbut the thing isI know I'm lyingTo youPlease stop hurting yourselfthat it's all your faultstop and save your skin girlyour not the one who has to speak|i see the stars but not the dreamsi see the sun but not the lightsso stop and voice your voice girlyour the one that's better offand i'm the one in the dirt(I said this wasn't you fault)(i said that it was truth)(but you should of learnt)(never to trust a guy like me)Please stop hurting yourselfthat it's all your faultstop and save your skin girlyour not the one who has to speak|I see the stars but not the dreamsI see th
She Doesn't KnowShe doesnt knowHow lovely she is,How a radianceAnd a passion for lifeShimmer about herAnd infect all thoseWho are lucky enough to be around her.She doesnt knowWhat a brilliant mindAnd remarkable ideasGrin beneath her shy façadeAnd wait for the world to discover them.She doesnt knowHow she has changed me,How her smile,Her laughter,Her tears,Have attached themselves to meAnd I will never shake them off.She doesnt know.
PoetryAll the words I cannot say,Even though I'm not mute,All the tears and fears I cry and hide,everything I keep inside all comes out with one thing in mind,Poetry.
Afraid?I'm so afraid to love you.I'm so afraid to trust.I'm confused about how you feel and if what you said is the truth.I was afraid to let my heart beat.Afraid to feel those butterflies.As your sweet songs fill my head with ideas, fill my heart with feelings I sigh and smile.I whisper, "I love you." As I slowly stand up and walk away from the music that has made my heartbeat just like it did when you first smiled at me.I'm afraid that I'm paranoid.I'm afraid that I don't know wrong from right or honesty from lies.I'm afraid that what I'm listening to is going to make me love more than I can deny.'I don't love you.' Could never slip from my lips, as I do love you. And if I said I didn't I'd be a liar. Just like you?
realitywhat is, is, andwhat isn't, isn't, butthat's never the whole story.