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Hi.
This is kind of awkward but...

will you be my first?

The first one to
hold me tight like
he never wants to let me go

The first one to
make me want to believe
that someone can actually promise
"forever"

The first one to
interlock his fingers with mine
gaze into my eyes
smile a little smile and say
"hi", quiet and glad

The first one to
make me blush with just a gaze
make me find out what it means
to have my heart skip a beat
annoy me in a way
that makes me want to capture this moment

The first one to
become the other half
of the memory of the first time
I pressed my lips against yours
and we discovered what
a kiss tastes like

And maybe you won't
be the last one to
hold onto a piece of my heart

Maybe you'll leave me behind
with only the memory of your arms and lips
a ghost of your warmth
following tears making their way down my cheeks
to lips tasting of salt instead of a kiss

Maybe
you won't be the last one
but
will you be the first one?
TO NOBODY SPECIFIC. I just watched 'the book thief' and it left me feeling very sad and then this was created.
Add a Comment:
 
:icon000skyarrow000:
000SkyArrow000 Featured By Owner Aug 22, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
so lovely and sweet...you described the meaning of love....without use that word.....I really like to read that kind of romantic poetry..
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:iconcontradictory55:
Contradictory55 Featured By Owner Aug 23, 2015  Student Writer
:iconblushingplz: Thank you, oh, just, thank you ><
Reply
:icon000skyarrow000:
000SkyArrow000 Featured By Owner Aug 24, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
you are very welcome dear
Reply
:iconamericanlass:
AmericanLass Featured By Owner Oct 28, 2014
Hello! :wave:

I'd like to say that this is hands down probably one of my favorite pieces on dA so far. I feel like you've enveloped so much feeling in just a few short words which is fantastic. The best part is that it's probably all feelings every single person has felt (or will feel) at some point in their lives. In its simplicity and beauty, you've made it completely identifiable to each and every person reading it and I think that's something very unique that requires a decent amount of skill. Your word choice is simply phenomenal. You haven't over complicated it while still making it sound mature and fit for the general age group that would be experiencing this. Although it doesn't specify whether the writer is boy or girl, or who it's being written about, it seems to me that this is a very stereotypical thing for a girl to write in her journal or something. However, it feels very heartfelt and loving and as I mentioned before it's well written all around.

One of my favorite things about this is that because everyone identifies with it differently, the range of emotions you can draw from your readers is incredible. I'm pretty sure this could make someone feel sad just as easily as it could make someone feel happy, and I'm positive this can give someone some kind of a seed of hope too. However, I personally find the ending to have a twinge of sadness no matter how you look at it. That's not a bad thing though, it makes it maybe more personal on your part (assuming this had been written about someone in particular). Having the ending seem slightly sad, it makes it more nostalgic in my mind. Almost like someone was really in love and it didn't work out, so they're reminiscing on their first love but with that already known knowledge that it wouldn't end up working out.

I enjoyed how you started it, as if it were a letter almost. I feel like it really exemplifies how awkward it can be to share your feelings about someone with that person-- another prime example of how you've made this so easy to identify with! You've really brought to life what everyone wants from their first; you've enveloped every single wish and every single hope people have about their first.

I'm not trying to come off as completely gushing over your work like a fool, but really it is very good :)
The only thing I'm not entirely a huge fan of is the title, but that's not the most important part in my mind. Maybe you could consider something different instead? If not, that's totally okay. I don't think the title really takes away from the piece anyway :)

Great job overall! Keep up the fantastic writing :D
Reply
:iconcontradictory55:
Contradictory55 Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2014  Student Writer
:glomp: Oh my goodness, feel free to gush so long as you let me do the same XD But really, that someone gets so much out of my work is like the reason I write in the first place so just really, OH MY GOODNESS THANK YOU. You have really just made my day and you have my utmost gratitude for that. 

THANK YOU. :glomp: Two little words that can hold so much or so little meaning, I hope they can at least try and convey the smile on my face as I read this wonderful, WONDERFUL comment.
Reply
:iconamericanlass:
AmericanLass Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2014
Mission accomplished then I suppose! :D You're more than welcome, I really enjoyed reading this and I'm glad I could make your day! :hug: That's what I strive for when I leave comments on things so mission accomplished for me too, haha ;P
Reply
:iconcontradictory55:
Contradictory55 Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2014  Student Writer
XD
Reply
:iconsakuraigetsumori77:
SakuraiGetsumori77 Featured By Owner Aug 15, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I missed being the first to contradict you :iconheplz:
Reply
:iconcontradictory55:
Contradictory55 Featured By Owner Aug 16, 2014  Student Writer
OH HO. I will contradict myself sometimes XD
Reply
:iconsakuraigetsumori77:
SakuraiGetsumori77 Featured By Owner Aug 23, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Hey, maybe I should change my name to contradictorian too :iconheplz:
Reply
:iconcontradictory55:
Contradictory55 Featured By Owner Aug 24, 2014  Student Writer
NOPE. You coined the term referring to me, thus it is mine to use as a name!
Reply
:iconsakuraigetsumori77:
SakuraiGetsumori77 Featured By Owner Sep 5, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
FINE, I'LL BE CONTRADICTORIAN 2
Reply
:iconcontradictory55:
Contradictory55 Featured By Owner Sep 7, 2014  Student Writer
THANK YOU.
Reply
:iconsakuraigetsumori77:
SakuraiGetsumori77 Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A CHALLENGE
Reply
:iconcontradictory55:
Contradictory55 Featured By Owner Oct 17, 2014  Student Writer
I'M WEIRD.
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconstarlightshoals:
StarlightShoals Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
>//////< Um...brings a few memories back.....
Reply
:iconcontradictory55:
Contradictory55 Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2014  Student Writer
I rather suspect it brings memories to a lot of people. Most of us have had our 'first' already, probably.
Reply
:iconstarlightshoals:
StarlightShoals Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Probably... o////o
Reply
:iconcontradictory55:
Contradictory55 Featured By Owner Aug 8, 2014  Student Writer
:D Oh, blushes~
Reply
:iconkereth-midknight:
Kereth-Midknight Featured By Owner Aug 1, 2014  Student Writer
I'd gotten a bit behind on reading your stuff for a while, but it's good to know they're still looking awesome.  Keep it up!
Reply
:iconcontradictory55:
Contradictory55 Featured By Owner Aug 4, 2014  Student Writer
Aw, thank you! And you too :)
Reply
:iconirideamagicalladle:
IRideAMagicalLadle Featured By Owner Jun 22, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
:iconawwwplz: that....that was nice.
Reply
:iconcontradictory55:
Contradictory55 Featured By Owner Jun 22, 2014  Student Writer
:) :blush: Thank you
Reply
:iconacidiccook:
AcidicCook Featured By Owner Jun 18, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I can see that you have an attracting aura around you :P
Reply
:iconcontradictory55:
Contradictory55 Featured By Owner Jun 22, 2014  Student Writer
Pfft XD
Reply
:iconacidiccook:
AcidicCook Featured By Owner Jun 22, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
It's not my fault, talk to your comment box :P
Reply
:iconcontradictory55:
Contradictory55 Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2014  Student Writer
Shhhh ;p
Reply
:iconacidiccook:
AcidicCook Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
:D

You minx :P
Reply
:iconcontradictory55:
Contradictory55 Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2014  Student Writer
XD
Reply
:iconacidiccook:
AcidicCook Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
At least you smile, of course you smile too easy :P
Reply
:iconcontradictory55:
Contradictory55 Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2014  Student Writer
And it is a marvelous thing :D
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconiinegativeii:
IINegativeII Featured By Owner Jun 18, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
We all know this was directed at me! lol jk ;P 
Reply
:iconcontradictory55:
Contradictory55 Featured By Owner Jun 18, 2014  Student Writer
XD
Reply
:iconiinegativeii:
IINegativeII Featured By Owner Jun 18, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
You dare deny your love for me??!!
Reply
:iconcontradictory55:
Contradictory55 Featured By Owner Jun 18, 2014  Student Writer
In a romantic sense ;p
Reply
:iconiinegativeii:
IINegativeII Featured By Owner Jun 18, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Of course lol
Reply
:iconcontradictory55:
Contradictory55 Featured By Owner Jun 18, 2014  Student Writer
XD
Reply
:iconiinegativeii:
IINegativeII Featured By Owner Jun 18, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
You're my one and only too ;P
Reply
:iconcontradictory55:
Contradictory55 Featured By Owner Jun 22, 2014  Student Writer
XD
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconmysocksrock:
MySocksRock Featured By Owner Jun 18, 2014
I think this is very sweet :)
Reply
:iconcontradictory55:
Contradictory55 Featured By Owner Jun 18, 2014  Student Writer
Thank you :)
Reply
:icontuiskulumi:
tuiskulumi Featured By Owner Jun 17, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
This is definitely specific. Whether or not you admit it! :D 
Reply
:iconcontradictory55:
Contradictory55 Featured By Owner Jun 18, 2014  Student Writer
NOPE. DENIED. NOPE.
Reply
:icontuiskulumi:
tuiskulumi Featured By Owner Jun 18, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I'm sure it is. Trust me. 
Reply
:iconcontradictory55:
Contradictory55 Featured By Owner Jun 22, 2014  Student Writer
NONONONONO. I trust no man or woman with my heart!
Reply
:icontuiskulumi:
tuiskulumi Featured By Owner Jun 23, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Then what does that make you? 
Reply
:iconcontradictory55:
Contradictory55 Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2014  Student Writer
AN ALIEN.
Reply
:icontuiskulumi:
tuiskulumi Featured By Owner Jul 2, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
'SPLAIN. 
Reply
:iconcontradictory55:
Contradictory55 Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2014  Student Writer
All persons other than myself are aliens to myself. Well, for the most part.
Reply
(1 Reply)
:icondoubleyah:
doubleyah Featured By Owner Jun 17, 2014   General Artist
Nice. Sentimental. I am melancholy myself so I don't have much else to say.
Reply
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June 17, 2014
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